It's a cloud Sunday when I was in my room doing nothing. I squat on the floor and stared on the wall. The picture frame caught my attention. It was my first time to put a picture on a frame. I usually collect and keep it my closet. It was the photo of my friends together with my new found "teacher-and-friend". With looking at the photo, I recall the memories that we've spent together. All the while I keep on laughing at myself. Good enough I was alone in my room. Since my memories are fresh and functioning, I get my two journals on my closet.
Diary as you may called it but journal is more formal and appropriate. I read my first journal and it's a full of melodramatic situations. At that time the meat of the story is more on life experiences, friendships, family, school work and of course the thing called LOVE (it will not complete the whole package without love). My first journal is based on my high school years. When I started to read it I didn't imagines I was able to expressed what I felt on my journal. Full of heartaches, pain, miserable, responsibility and FEAR. Happy memories is not included in my game. It's indeed a series of unfortunate events. I never taste the essence of having a good LIFE. The statement the "You've got to learn the hard way" from my mom keep haunting my mind. Hard way as it is I was able to survive. Conflict on my family matters is my weakest point. Too much to handle. But I keep on stressing out that the foundation of my FAMILY is important and my first priority. Whether you'll commit a mistake it's always the family that keeps you going.
Friendship and love comes as one. I was once touched by the arrow of cupid. And it's really driving me crazy. I was in the place where everybody wants to be loved and the other way round. Sometimes I wanna scream and catch my breath if this is REAL love or what. "He's so cute" was my favorite punch line. I think crushes are normal. And I don't think it's normal if the person you love don't know how to appreciate little things. That person maybe is insensitive. Guess I know how to deal with them. It will be difficult in the first part but you will do good better next time.
Baby sitter of the day - was my job. never did I imagine it was too hard and too difficult to raised my younger brothers. As you can see I'm the eldest that is expected that I had the bigger share of responsibility at home (except from my parents, though). They keep pestering each other. They're like animal because they eat like cats and dogs (gabble and gabble). As if they'll going to die if they miss one meal in a day. But despite of their naughtiness they are so lovable and passionate in good ways. They can make you laugh out loud out of their stupidity. It made me think as if they were really my real son. Never mind mind the tiring moments what important is you will able to interact and learn a lot from them and vice versa. You see patience is what you need guys. And if you have the value of being patience well then you are qualified of being a nanny (just joking).
My journey as what I wrote on my first journal is far from what I expected. You will never know that you're being tested in different ways. Patience and Perseverance works for me. But still my questions are lining up for finding the right answers. My experiences are my resources because I learned from them. Different levels of experiences help me make a better person. That's why other people say "been there done that". because they already undergo a lot of circumstances in their life.
Guess I still have one journal left to impart with you guys but that would be another story. Everything in my life right now is a constant change. It vary on how you handle and view your life for tomorrow.
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