why hurry?

They are in a hurry – my friends. They were desperate. They want to have a boyfriend. Why are they in a hurry? To think they’re too young to have in a relationship. Aside from that, how could you enjoy if you’re already committed in a relationship? Do you really want to have a boyfriend because its fad nowadays? So what if you’re single? Do guys have anything to do with that?

Being “SINGLE” for how many years doesn’t bother me at all. If it happens it will happen. If it comes it will come. If not, then that’s life. You have to accept it. If you force yourself to find for the “right one”, I’m sorry honey but it will not just come right there. Patience is still a virtue. Don’t find for it, let it find you – your true love (gee, sounds so corny!).

Enjoy life. Appreciate every moment and take from these moments everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again. And I’m sure God has his own reason and purpose for you. Don’t be in a hurry. As what Jordin Sparks said, there’s no need to rush, one step at a time.

Take it easy girls!
Just go with the flow.

ADRENALINE RUSH

I hate to see myself crying. It takes my adrenaline weaken. I feel guilty when I was not able to do the task that my mom was given to me this morning. I do my best. Yes, I really did. But my mom said "You lack initiative and You're effortless". She's upset with me. She doesn't trust me at all just because of that stupid task that I was not able to accomplished. It's been a couple of days that we didn't speak up. I hate to think that I'm guilty. It's hard for me to talk to her around. Because she will not entertain me. I miss my mom. I miss talking to her about a lot of things. My relationship towards her is in a silent mode. I miss the bound. It makes me weak. The Adrenaline jolted through my veins.

PAST IS PAST

It started with a game. It's not about thruth and consequences,though. But it's all about truth. So if you lose, we will gonna ask you some questions and you need to answer it honestly. Wow, it's though. The name of the game is 7up! So let's start the game.

1 - 2 -3 -4 -5 -6 -7 up!

Oopps, I lose. So the questions is related to my past love life (why in hell they want to know it?). They asked me if it's true that I cried about this guy who I loved before. And I started to laugh. I don't want to talk about this guy anymore because I'm not into him anymore. And guess what? the guy is included in the game. And his the one who asked the questions. So what I did I tell him the truth. There's so much I wanna tell but I guess I should limit myself. When talking about my past love life, I couldn't help myself to feel that kilig factor, you know. I still have the memories on my mind. It's hard to forget all the things that you've spent together. I don't know if he knows already the craziest things I've done for him. I really was thinking that "he's the one" for me. I was wrong. It's hard to accept the truth. That's why I'm giving myself a break at that moment. Time would be useful. time had passed, I learn the art of letting go. In the first place, it's not easy. But thanks God, I passed the tests. He let me know how to be hurt. And it's killing me, you know. Now, I'm looking forward for the things that life has to offfer.

1- 2 -3 -4 -5 -6 -7 up!

Oopps. Now it's my time to ask him a question.

If I said i love you, what credit is that to you?

Unnoticed

Effortless, lazy ass, unworthy are the words that they described me. That I don’t know if it’s good to hear all the unpleasant words that are thrown from me. They don’t get me because if they did they will understand me. It’s really hard to explain a lot of things to the person that would never understand you. And what’s the purpose of explaining? Never crossing minds. I put words on their mouth, that’s why I’m getting pissed. Talk is cheap. So, I will not talk. I’ll let my eyes and my mind do the work. If I have some thoughts on my mind then I’ll find a person that I could talk to. A person understands me well, a person who is intellectually-stimulating. I’m getting used for rejection. Let them do their own work, for they never believe in my abilities’. As if they perfect-they know everything. I never gave them headaches but they don’t know that they’ve hurt me. Mixed emotions that can lead me to depressions. Laughter’s are my key weapons. I laugh without any reason. In that way, I can assure that I still have my side of being a funny girl. Happiness is all that you want. But it’s not permanent. There’s no permanent in this world. You can’t be happy always if there are things that are not on the right tract. Don’t forget that life has ups and downs.

The persons that I’ve treasured in my life are giving me hesitations if they were truly real. They don’t feel my presence and worth because they keep on pestering. The problems that I wanted t share, now I’m keeping it to myself. In that way, no one would know what’s going on with my life. No more up-to-date. Consideration is a thought for others and their feelings. They don’t know that because they never tried it for once. Every time I’ll hear them talking, I’ll zip my mouth. My thoughts are ready for processing to speak-up. There are things that are not meant to be said. So, I’ll remain in silence. What makes it different if I’ll speak-up? What else for? They will not listen.

You don’t always have to defend yourself with your words. Sometimes your silence gives you people a clue that you have better thoughts in mind. Appreciate is to recognized the value and to understand fully the things that happen to your life. You should learn the value of it because if you don’t all the things that happen in this world will remain unnoticed by you.

Behind my pen and paper

I admire people who can write.
I also admire myself that I can write.

Writing is really not my passion. I read a lot but I never write. I envy people who know the act of writing. Every morning you can spot me on my favorite couch reading newspapers (CDN and Sun Star) with my coffee. After reading all the news, I salute them for their abilities in writing skills. Perhaps you are wondering why I’m taking Mass Com. I love in the media industry. I love to be part of it but I think I will not survive. It’s not that I heard a lot of media killings everywhere. That Philippines is next to Iraq that most of the journalists are being killed. If I’m not really meant for that industry, then fine! Besides, I don’t gamble my life. There’s so much things that I can do. But if you love the craft then why not grab it.

One of my dreams in my life is to be an editor-in-chief of a lifestyle magazine. Isn’t it wonderful? Guess what? I don’t have what it takes to be one. Why not? I still have time maybe it’s not yet too late. Honestly, sometimes I don’t believe in my competence, that’s why I hate myself sometimes. People always don’t trust my capabilities, which why I treat myself as a shithead. I’m also afraid that one day I will end up jobless. But I believe that there’s really something out there for me. As of now, still practicing to write. I don’t know if people find my blog boring or if they able to catch me or what or maybe no sense at all! Never did I imagine that I can write. I thought it was hard. I thought brilliant minds can only write. What good about writhing is you can voice out what’s on you mind, people have emotions that’s why the express it and the reaction between you and the reader.

Isn’t it nice when someone will find your blog readable?
Doesn’t make sense to you at all?

You are not my friend that I've known before!

I had this guy friend in my high school years who is very "kalog", funny. talkative, tack less and very kind. I always treated him as my "kuya". When I enter our room (I'm a sophomore at that time) he's the only one who approached me of all the students who are talking there. The approach was good that it made me feel comfortable around. He was asking like, "You're so familiar, have met before?". Gee, it's a small world after all we were classmate since elementary and I don't remember him at all. So, he introduced me to his friends. His friends became my friends already. We ate lunch together, we laugh, we shared life experiences. When I reached my junior years, we were doing all the crazy stuff in this world. So many intrigues, issues...but then the friendship never broke. There was a time that we have an open forum, we share all the "hinanakit" that we felt to our friends. It actually lead to the discussions of our future (careers). The guy and I planned to take the same course because we have the same interest. After saying all the careers that we want one of my friend said, "thetz, basin mag usab naka ha nya dili naka managa namo kung ma reporter naka!" I've been keeping that words to my mind. And I'm afraid that one day as I journey my life, I may change. "United we stand, Divided we fall." that's our motto in my senior years. We are really divided into groups with different personalities, attitude and views in life. My friends and I made a promise to each other that if we reached in college, we still communicate. Yeah! communicate is important!

"Thetz asa naman ka?" My guy friend texted me many times. It was the first day of school (college years). And yes. we pursue the plan that we made before. We were taking the same course and guess what? were not classmate! That was the most embarrassing moment in my first day of school. Walking alone in the lobby, sitting with unknown people in the bench and strangers everywhere.....oh God help me! Day by day. I'm already used to it. The "koleheyala girl" as what they called it. Years have passed, there is something that is different about him. At first, I thought it was just normal, but then again it's not.

He was minding his life and I also did. He has his friends and I have mine too. I really don't know if his aware or what. As what I have observed, he's adopting or shall we say influenced from his new peers. And I just can't talk to him like, "Hey! is that you?" because things were really different before. There was a time that I get jealous about him because of his friends. And the moment we see each other, I just stared at him. His friends were fashionista so as he. And I will not change my personality just to fit in their criteria. That's not me! If were friends, you've got to accept me for who I am not of what I have. I really don't know if he's changing or what maybe I change or the both of us? I know him better than he know and he also know me better than I know. I was hesitant to approach him because I know in the end I will loose. He has a different perception in his life right now and i can't rebut on that because it may lead to a misunderstanding. He already hurt me twice but he's not aware about it. Every time I speak, he will judge me! He's very competitive in terms of his studying, even though he will say he's not, but it shows. Whenever I'm in school, I just remained quiet. I only talk if he ask questions. There's already a gap between the both of us. He said he is willing to give up all the thing he possess. And the next day, he told me he want to buy this one and that one. Do you really mean what are you saying? I'm not the antagonist here, i wonder why he's acting like this. He's really not my friend that I've known before.

I admit I changed but my attitude is there very intact! I've been through the levels of maturity and it's not easy. I'm glad that my circles of friends are there and very understandable. I'm happy that somehow I was changed (the good ones) for the good of others and at the same time for myself. I value life and I don't argue about it. I'm still who I am.

How about him? I guess he also has changes in life. Yeah he did, I noticed it. I hope he will understand me the moment he will read this. I write because I observed there's something wrong. And don't think that I hate you or I feel hatred about you. I'm just concern as a friend. I don't question how you handle your life. You just have to think a million times before you talk. because you might know that there's someone out there who get hurt by your words and actions. And oh, by the way, who am I to judge your life? I'm only your friend anyways!

My name, what does it mean?...

I am usually the best at everything ... I strive for perfection. I am confident, authoritative, and aggressive. I have the classic "Type A" personality.

I am very intuitive and wise. I understand the world better than most people.I also have a very active imagination. I often get carried away with your thoughts.I am prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. I sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

I am friendly, charming, and warm. I get along with almost everyone.I work hard not to rock the boat. My easy going attitude brings people together.At times, I can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, I pull it together.I am a seeker. I often find myself restless - and I have a lot of questions about life.I tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. I am most comfortable when I’m far away from home.

I am quite passionate and easily tempted. My impulses sometimes get me into trouble.I’m truly an original person. I have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.Success comes rather easily for me... especially in business and academia.Some people find me to be selfish and a bit overbearing. I’m a strong person.

Cherished lessons from Mom

• My mother taught me to appreciate a Job well done.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

• My mother taught me about religion

" You better pray that stain will come out of the carpet."

• My mother taught me about time travel

" I you don't straighten up I'm going to knock you into the middle of the week."

• My mother taught me logic

" Because I said so, that's why."

• My mother taught me logic #2

" If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

• My mother taught me foresight

" Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

• My mother taught me Irony

" Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

• My mother taught me about the science of osmosis

" Shut your mouth and eat your dinner!"

• My mother taught me how to be a contortionist

" Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

• My mother taught me about stamina

" You'll sit there 'till all that mashed potato is finished."

• My mother taught me about the weather

" It looks as if a tornado swept to your room."

• My mother taught me how to solve physical problems

" If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen?"

• My mother taught me about hypocrisy

" if I told you once, I've told you a million times don't exaggerate!"

• My mother taught me the circle of life

" I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.

• My mother taught me about behavior medication

" Stop acting like your sister!"

• My mother taught me about envy

" There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

• My mother taught me about anticipation

" Just wait until we get home."

• My mother taught me about the thrill of receiving

" You are going to get it when we get home."

• My mother taught me medical science

" If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

• My mother taught me about thinking ahead

" If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a job."

• My mother taught me humor

" When that cockroach cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.

• My mother taught me how to become an adult

" If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.

• My mother taught me about my roots

" Do you think you were born in a barn?"

• My mother taught me about wisdom of age

" When you get to be my age. you will understand."

• And the all time favorite, My mother taught me about Justice

" One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you."

For 19 years....,

All my life I've been facing a lot of challenges, responsibility, problems and criticism but i still able to keep my feet on the ground and pray that I could solve these problems. I never imagine that God has given me much blessings than I expected and I appreciated it. Everyday I always thanked God for the gift of life that he has given me. That he let me open my eyes to the beautiful things that he himself created. He also let me experienced how to be hurt, how to be loved and how to be lived. I am so happy and glad that he's always beside me guiding- which path and road I should take. I thanked him for giving:

A WONDERFUL FRIENDS

" Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are." My friends and I shared a lot of memories for the past three years. I admit it's hard to predict who really is your friends but these REAL and TRUE friends of mine were absolutely different. There are the ones who who constantly remind me to be humble yet despite of my imperfections they embraced and comfort me. We talk a lot, laugh as much as we can, we shared problems, we cry, we comfort each other. that's my friends are.

A HAPPY FAMILY

I've been waiting for the day that God will give me a happy happy family and he grant my wish. When was in my teen age years, I don't have the strong foundation of what we called "FAMILY". My mom and I were always fighting for a lot of things and I couldn't help but cry. Crying is always my friend. I cry because I get hurt and pray that these things will turned into good ones. When don, my step dad came into our life everything changes. He let me show what's the important of the word "FAMILY". Until then, I never expected that I already have the strong foundation of my family. We talk often, we eat dinner together, we go shopping, we hang out and have dinner at the restaurant and we also share life experiences. I really thanked God for giving me enough TIME for my family.

Now that I'm coming 19 this Aug. 31 which is Sunday, I couldn't ask for more than the love that God has given me. I know I don't have to worry at all because i believe he will never leave me. And I will never get tired of saying THANK YOU! as I grow older. Imagine if you don't have God in your LIFE.

Life as we know it!

Sometimes people came into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, teach you a lesson or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never learn who these people maybe (possibly your roommate, neighbor, co-worker, long lost best friend, lover or even a complete stranger), but when you look eyes with them. You know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you that may seen horrible,painful and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, will, power or your heart. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and show stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be safe like a smoothly paused, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly print less.

The people you meet who affect your life and the success and downfalls your experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally not only because they loved you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

Make everyday count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again.

Don't Stress, Don't Stress

Gone are the days of being so relaxed at school. As if there is no projects or assignments that needs to be done. As a student enrolled in a prestigious university, you can't predict whether the students is studious or not (we term it as "naning").

But in my cases, I feel so relaxed (as well as my colleague0 from the past few days. When mid-term exam are fast approaching, I can't count how many projects, business letters, video documented stories, assignments,. . . that needs to be pass before exam. The worst thing is, I don't know how and where to start.This is really the time and the moment that I can feel the pressure as a student. I love being busy all the time. It makes me strive and motivate everyday.I can easily organize and match things up. I don't care if people might think that I'm crazy. As long as I am happy of what I'm doing.

Never mind the sleepless nights and the stress. What matters most is you have the drive to do anything you love.