Cherished lessons from Mom

• My mother taught me to appreciate a Job well done.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

• My mother taught me about religion

" You better pray that stain will come out of the carpet."

• My mother taught me about time travel

" I you don't straighten up I'm going to knock you into the middle of the week."

• My mother taught me logic

" Because I said so, that's why."

• My mother taught me logic #2

" If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

• My mother taught me foresight

" Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

• My mother taught me Irony

" Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

• My mother taught me about the science of osmosis

" Shut your mouth and eat your dinner!"

• My mother taught me how to be a contortionist

" Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

• My mother taught me about stamina

" You'll sit there 'till all that mashed potato is finished."

• My mother taught me about the weather

" It looks as if a tornado swept to your room."

• My mother taught me how to solve physical problems

" If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen?"

• My mother taught me about hypocrisy

" if I told you once, I've told you a million times don't exaggerate!"

• My mother taught me the circle of life

" I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.

• My mother taught me about behavior medication

" Stop acting like your sister!"

• My mother taught me about envy

" There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

• My mother taught me about anticipation

" Just wait until we get home."

• My mother taught me about the thrill of receiving

" You are going to get it when we get home."

• My mother taught me medical science

" If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

• My mother taught me about thinking ahead

" If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a job."

• My mother taught me humor

" When that cockroach cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.

• My mother taught me how to become an adult

" If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.

• My mother taught me about my roots

" Do you think you were born in a barn?"

• My mother taught me about wisdom of age

" When you get to be my age. you will understand."

• And the all time favorite, My mother taught me about Justice

" One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you."